Too much dating or fake friendship at the coffee shop?
Platonic love and world peace and all that?
Or too many lesbian coffee shops and too much police station love?
Take the Russian word друг or подруга, for instance, “friend” in English, but suspiciously like “drug” — those aren't real “friends” serving such fancy drink concoctions “to go” on the public highways. Cup of coffee and an “I love you!” — “Love you too, gotta go, bye for now!” — but I don't think I'm “loved” or necessarily should be loved any more than any of the other customers.
Or “I don't love you but Jesus loves you!” Nice but you can't say that and be my friend.
Andrea Palladino
Friend-zoned? In this economy? It's the dreaded, no-sex space that young, hopeful daters say they never want to be — …Romantic hopefuls online are sharing their sad truth: "staying in the friend zone" — aka wading through the murky space between platonic friendship and official dating until you figure out if there's real relationship potential — is now financially irresponsible. Young males are warning other Gen Z daters not to blow money on "unknown odds." That overpriced coffee is only worth it if you know you're moving from the friend zone to second base. For them, the lack of certainty is no longer worth the long-term investment.
Dating drive-up baristas is indeed a risky proposition for young men for several reasons. These guys aren't getting out of their cars and sitting down inside the coffee shop to date. An impartial view of a barista's skimpy clothing, excessive or unusual jewelry and bizarrely cut or dyed hair, tattoos, atrociously long fake acrylic nails, and so on and so forth only serves to amplify a young male customer's sense of riskiness or risk-taking beyond an acceptable measure certainly as a licensed driver among other considerations.
And the price of "taking it slow" and working your way from friend to lover is now too expensive and financially irresponsible, according to these viral TikToks. ¶"Back in 2012, s–t used to be cheap," ranted a TikTokker named Gordon in a now-viral video. "You could blow $2 to $3 on a coffee for your 'girl best friend' that you were interested in."
There's the waiting in line when it's high time to get back to work or get off the property before the cops show up.
Coffee connoisseurs, not necessarily daters — and I wouldn't suggest making formal reservations at places like these — have to get moving and keep that interest in their bank accounts where it belongs.
Those “girl best friends” at the coffee shop often go on full-blown crime family vendettas to get revenge on former customers, as soon as the illusions of romance evaporate from what was in reality only a money-making and coffee-drinking relationship.
Many if not most coffee shop customers are female, and the baristas are all but exclusively female themselves, so much of the dating that occurs at coffee shops is among lesbians or bisexual women without men. Whenever the term “platonic” shows up, that means they're lesbians, friend-zoning young men into a gay male space apart from themselves.
Apparently, you need to belly up to the bar and drink much harder beverages than that if you're straight and on the make for a hook-up.